An Invisible Woman

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday…and only two people called her. You know how invisible that makes a person feel? I do. Because my family forgot my birthday, too. Not this year, but in the past. They only remembered the day after….and then my sister blamed me for it. Trauma aside, I can relate. There is not a day that goes by that I do not feel invisible. 

To be honest, I started this blog because I feel invisible. I’ll tell you what that does to a person. 

It makes them overeat, for one. I am now starting a battle to lose weight because I have diabetes. Not to look good according to the Beauty Police – because I’ll never look good enough for them anyway – but because my health is starting to fail. I did not have the motivation to consider my looks, because I never thought I had good looks.  

Also, invisibility makes a person do stupid things for attention. In my life, I spent my twenties between the sheets for comfort, with my neck under the foot of my siblings. I am pounding this out in tears even now due to the pain and suffering I experienced. Two of them don’t speak to my mother at all. They hate my mother. At least I can take comfort for my mother’s sake in knowing that my mother has two enemies in the family. Ever heard of negative attention? It is a thing. Negative attention is the entire driving force behind the Jackass franchise. It also drives Youtube and Tiktok, to a certain extent. I haven’t posted anything on Tiktok lately, though. Maybe I should? 

Invisibility also drives protests. You want us to stop saying “Black Lives Matter?” Well, MAKE IT TRUE. Yes, I screamed that. Because all the black people the cops used for target practice felt invisible in their deaths. Why do you think people filmed George Floyd? To make him visible, of course.  

Sure, all the celebrities and moguls have money and fame on our side, but what do invisible people like us have? Just a stupid blog and some social media accounts. Let’s be honest. The invisible woman stands and stares at me from the other side of the mirror. I sometimes wonder if I have no reflection because of the way people ignore me.  

Maybe I’ll be visible someday in the future…but I doubt it. I’m losing hope. Somebody, see me. Somebody, see my mother.  

On Afghanistan

I’m overwhelmed at the sights and sounds of Afghanistan’s fall and trampling by the Taliban.

President Joe Biden has lost his credibility in the eyes of the American citizen, for starters.

Why did he pull out the troops like this?

Why did we go into this country in the first place?

And, most importantly, did we change any hearts or minds?

I really am stuck on this one. That’s why I haven’t written anything about it.

Hopefully, the answers will come to me in the future….

….but sometimes they don’t.

****

On another facet….

I wonder what Afghan people will bring to Kentucky? We have room for refugees here, in case anyone was wondering. Have you seen the size of our yards? For those not in the know, if you need a riding mower for your yard, you’ve got a big piece of land. Trust me. I grew up in a place with small yards and zero line properties.

Again, there’s a wealth of contributions we could get from Afghan refugees. I can’t wait to learn what those contributions are. Trust me, we have room.

Quickshot – Leave Simone Biles Alone!

Do you really want that girl paralyzed after an illustrious gymnastics career? It’s quite possible. She’s dealing with hitting a wall. Just leave her alone. She’s probably only worried about what Simone Biles thinks.

Besides, what if your mentally ill family and friends see those hateful posts, and then need your help? They won’t come to you for the help they need. They’ll just suffer in silence, and possibly die. You want that on your conscience?

Welcome to the Tribe, Wentworth Miller and Sir Anthony Hopkins

Okay, so this actor, named Wentworth Miller, revealed he was autistic recently. Also, that he would not change it. To be perfectly honest, I applaud him. Seriously. If there was a red carpet to lay out and use to welcome him to the autistic community, I would use it. And, of course, I give a belated shout out to Sir Anthony Hopkins, who came out autistic years ago himself. You may not realize it, but this is a bright day for autistic kind.

Let me elaborate. There are people who think autistic people cannot act. I don’t know, Mr. Miller seems to have a small slew of award nominations for his work already. Also, Mr. Hopkins has just won his second Oscar for his work in The Father. So, another stereotype ought to bite the dust, you know? (Why doesn’t Wentworth Miller have a slew of awards, you ask? Give him some time.) Also, get this – ever see the film The Human Stain? Both of those actors are playing the same role at different ages! That’s wild.

Well, as stereotypes fall among the autistic – with some seriously bloody fighting, I might add – I will give time to declare that autistic people are as varied and wide-ranging a people as any tribe under a banner. Welcome to the tribe, gentlemen.

A BZZZT!

-Original Poem

This week, a circuit court judge

Overturned a ban on

Electric Shocks

For autistic people.

Cattle prods.

For PEOPLE.

A BZZZT! for flapping hands.

A BZZZT! for speaking too loud.

A BZZZT! for being too weird.

A BZZZT! just for being.

Is this how you treat your children?

Because they’re not the children you want?

What if the child gets the cattle prod?

A BZZZT! for mother?

A BZZZT! for father?

A BZZZT! to kill the family dog?

Often, people who undergo corporal punishment

Are very aggressive in adulthood.

Would you like to BZZZT! your grandchild?

With a cattle prod?

I think you might have already.

“That’s how my parents did it.”

For being different.

No wonder general Americana is a bigot.

The Accidental Omelet

Ever thought you could not do something to find out it was actually pretty easy? This is how I learned to make omelets.

One morning, I decided to make ham and cheese scrambled eggs. Heck, that was all I knew. I made some for my mother, and then started making some for myself. I had to leave the pan I was using for a few seconds – I forget what for – then I returned to the pan. It turned out, I had left the scrambled eggs alone long enough to form an omelet. I figured out which spatula to flip this new thing I made with, and filled it with what I had on hand.

Did you ever think an autistic person could make an omelet? I now do it all the time.

“It Didn’t Happen to Me, so it Never Happens!” The Black Swan Fallacy of Functioning Labels

Lately, I’ve been thinking about functioning labels, again. (High Functioning, Low Functioning, etc.) What I have noticed is that in autism, and very likely other disabilities, these labels are assigned to their holders by the way other people experience their autism. Does anybody see the problem with this? It’s a black swan fallacy in the making!

Okay, let’s back things up. The Black Swan Fallacy is a tendency to deliberately ignore things that contradict our views. It goes like this: In Europe, at least until Australia was “discovered” by Europeans, swans were generally seen as white, that is, with white feathers. But when explorers went into Australia, there were black swans, that is, swans with black feathers. This threw the “all swans are white” notion into a giant tailspin. Black swans were seen as rare, since they were barely seen at all. Here’s my personal beef with that particular notion: I’ve been to Lakeland, Florida. Lakeland, Florida is known for its swans. And there, roughly a third of the swans are black. I counted the black and white swans out of curiosity to figure this out. (Now, don’t get me wrong; all swans are beautiful. I’m not arguing about their beauty.)

Now, let’s apply this to functioning labels. If a mother says about her autistic daughter, “She is high functioning. See, she greets people extremely well,” the mother is more likely experiencing the girl’s autism mildly, and judging so because she greets people “extremely well.” But what if the autistic daughter constantly, and with pain, rehearsed this greeting to death in order to do it extremely well? The mother probably doesn’t know that. She might actually be wrong about her daughter due to lack of information! That is how the Black Swan Fallacy works. So, if an autistic person tells you they are struggling, they most likely are. They may not be as high functioning or low functioning as they present in that moment.

Besides, functioning labels are often used to dismiss the experience and views of the disabled person anyway, as if to say, “Well, it doesn’t happen to me, so it never happens.” So, what the abled need to do is sit down, shut up , listen and accept that things may be different. There are lots of black swans.

Can’t We Just…Eat the Food?

You know, I look at a lot of beauty products. They often say “This extract” or “That emulsion” to get a healthy glow, or whatever you want it to do. What I mostly notice, is that when this or that is a food, this is usually a fruit or vegetable. This got me to wondering: Can’t we just…eat the food? I mean, I’m not asking to smear ambergris on your body (just…ew), or drink Kopi Luwak coffee (again, ew). I’m just wondering if we can get the same healthy glow from eating the fruit and/or vegetables we would get from the extract of said food. I think it would make some sense to me, but what do I know? I’m just a girl who eats vegetables on a regular basis, and people don’t think I’m 43 for some reason, even though I am. (It’s June 5, 2021 as I write this.) I guess common sense is not all that common. I mean, people who eat vegetables tend to be healthy, you know? I mean, let’s eat!

What is the Point of the “International Food” Section Anyway?

Okay – I went to the local Walmart, and I was looking for Hi-Chew candy. (I was curious due to a heavily rotated commercial.) The sad thing is, I never really found Hi-Chew in the regular candy section. I had to find it in the “Asian Food” section. I don’t know, is it too Asian to be considered real candy? I don’t get it. It’s a good candy!

You’ve seen the “International Food” section – or “Ethnic Food,” if your grocery store is definitely fond of othering. They put certain things in those aisles that, in my view, deserve to go to the regular food aisles just like the other ones. I mean, why isn’t the Mexican hot sauce with the regular hot sauce? It’s hot sauce! What about the rice recipes? Maybe I’m blind, but saying “this is one country” or “this is one continent” is kind of saying “this is foreign food.” It almost means, “Americans don’t eat this,” when, in fact, it is being sold in America specifically for Americans to eat! Let’s nip this in the bud and get some integration in the grocery store.

This kind of irks me the same way Hyphenated-Americans do, but not in the way you might think. Hyphenated Americans grinds my gears because it reminds me that being a “real American” is literally barred from some for reasons they can’t control, like the color of their skin. That’s what irks me.

I guess America gets the same treatment in the “American Food” sections of grocery stores in other countries. And let’s face it, “American Food” can get pretty ridiculous, too.