Nice Try, WebMD. I’m Not Having a Heart Attack.

When a person goes to WebMD, they have to be careful. If you look hard enough, there can be something alarming among your so-called diagnosis. I was typing in what my nausea could be after eating too much of a sugary drink, and there were a few alarming ones, such as “congestive heart failure,” “viral gastroenteritis,” and the most alarming, “heart attack.” My arm isn’t drooping, I’m not faint, so, I don’t think I’m having a heart attack. Nice try attempting to cause one though, WebMD. I almost titled this post “I’m Sure I Don’t Have Testicular Cancer,” but since I am a cisgender female, at least that has been ruled out. Anyway, the point is that you have to use critical thinking, even on sites as supposedly benign as WebMD.

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No, My Autism is NOT a Superpower or a Tragedy, It’s Neutral

Controversial, no? That I can see my condition as neutral? I guess I’m really different from other people. Let me explore the ways both values can be right and wrong, and show you how I reject both of them.  

Autism as a Superpower: This is not a viewpoint shared among many autistic people, though many non-autistic people think we do. Why people think we hold this is a mystery to us. Are we that arrogant to you? We certainly are not to ourselves. There are many things many of us cannot do without support, such as go grocery shopping. Perhaps the reason they think we hold this so-called belief is – maybe those dumb T-shirts saying “Autism is my Superpower.” I do not know of an autistic adult that actually owns a T-shirt with that message. The difficulties given to us by autism make us humble. Basically, it is arrogant to think that you are better than another person, simply because you are different from them. This pattern of thinking goes down a slippery slope to prejudice and scapegoating.  

Autism as a Tragedy: This is the other extreme viewpoint we try to ignore. This is ableism in a nutshell. Basically, a disabled person is tragic, and the only way they can make the world a better place is to remove themselves from it. In movies such as “Me Before You,” suicide for the disabled person is seen as good! How disgusting is that? It infuriates me. Just because we operate on a different level is not a reason to advocate for suicide! We are denying autistic people the basic right to live! Another slippery slope appears: If we kill off all the people who are different from us, whoever wins that war would be the last person on earth. I’m not going there. One person can only do so much. 

Why do people assign value to neutral events? Is this another symptom of the Power and Control addiction?  

I have decided to reject both viewpoints, because they are gravely erroneous. They both lead to the same conclusion: prejudice, scapegoating, and eventually, death to the autistic. I want to live. I want to be able to access the rights that only White Men!!! can currently: the rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. I want my life to matter.  

Thought on New Jersey’s Childhood Autism Rate

For those who do not know, screeners for autism discovered a high occurrence of autism among its younger children.

I would like to know if I have reached anyone autistic from New Jersey, and ask them a few questions about the place.  

Namely: Is there anything where you live that benefits you, and possibly other autistic people?  

See, the thing is, people gather where it benefits them. In southern California, for example, I saw large Latinx populations near Catholic points of interest, like churches and Catholic run schools. My best friend at the time lived close to Mater Dei High School, so I could observe this firsthand.  

So how does this relate to New Jersey and its autism rate?  

My theory is, undiagnosed autistic people unknowingly gathered in New Jersey for its benefits. They had autistic children, and there is now a bunch of them.  

Remember, it is only recently that autism has even been diagnosed properly across the board. 

In case you don’t know, I’ve never been to New Jersey. I would need to go there, or get firsthand information, to see if this is true. 

I’m just curious.  

Take Care of Yourselves, Everyone – Especially You, Greta Thunberg

I do apologize for those quick shots (now deleted). I was in a very dark place, not really taking care of myself for a while.

I’ve rested, eaten good food, and taken care of my needs, and to be honest, it has really improved my mood.

I can now see how essential self-care really is. Sometimes, you need to take a pause and breathe. You really need to take any medicines required. (It usually only takes a minute for me.) Of course, I’m not going to sit here and lecture you when I’ve just come out of that dark place.

I really do applaud Greta Thunberg – her passion, her drive, her calling attention to a problem clawing away at her mind – and I just get sick that people want her to have a meltdown and cause her to be locked away because she’s autistic. Such evil is not to be trifled with. It fights to the death. But we autistics fight to the death, too.

Kondo-ing before Kondo-ing was Cool

Well, somebody on a TV show is having trouble giving up a bookcase. They had it since they were a kid. That’s what they said. I guess it bugs me that people feel a need to hold on to things beyond their use or purpose. I mean, beyond a true illness (and I count mental illness as true illness), I don’t see the purpose of holding on to stuff beyond their use.  

Sure, nobles and the British Royal Family has tons and tons of stuff to furnish their houses, but usually, that stuff’s purposes have not expired. You can keep furniture around as long as you like it. I’m not trashing people with lots of stuff. I just don’t find it too useful for me.  

A few years back, my mother and I decided to go ahead and sort through our household things. Blankets, clothes, kitchenware, you name it. We threw out things we did not use, and kept enough stuff to keep going afterwards. I guess we are not as attached to our stuff as other people are. To us, it has to fit in our vision of what the house or life is. Basically, it has to bring us joy.  

That’s where Marie Kondo comes in. She is always asking, “Does it bring you joy?” For example, our silverware we use to eat, so yeah, that stuff does bring us joy – joy in health. Maybe I’m rambling, but for me, a thing has to have a place – a use – to stay in my life.  

I’m looking at our stuff and it may be time to go through it again. We need to conserve space in our apartment.  

What to Avoid when Looking for a Place of Worship

Content: Religious Talk, talk of cruelty and miracle cures, suicide, ableism

Now, I know that many of us autistic people are atheist. This is not for them, unless there is a place where atheists gather. I don’t know if there is.  For those of religious affiliation, sadly, the places of worship are filled with pitfalls of “autism awareness” and hatred. Miracle cures, ABA, prayer, the belief of autism meaning brokenness…this is by no means an exhaustive list of things to avoid concerning autism and worship.

If you sense a skew towards Christianity, please consider the fact that I am writing from personal experience. As we approach Easter, I am reminded that we need a ways to go in the church.

  1. Avoid places peddling “miracle cures.” – The church known as Genesis II still peddles that MMS stuff – basically drinking bleach for the unknowing. (Isn’t drinking bleach a form of suicide?) Do I really need to state that facing death is a risk of drinking bleach or shoving it up a child’s rear end?
  2. Avoid places who believe autism is a moral failing. – There is an ancient belief that any known health problems is a punishment from the Almighty. This is often a fallacy promoted by what is known as the Prosperity Gospel. “If you believed, your child would not be autistic.” Well, that is definitely not a tenet of Christianity, which is my belief system. Jesus did state in the Bible that “In this world, you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” I am focusing on the first statement for now, because I believe it to be true. No amount of belief is going to change the fact that you will have trouble.
  3. Avoid the anti-vaccine place of worship. – This goes without saying. If you can prevent the spread of anything with a shot, go right ahead. It is God’s way.
  4. Avoid the Hypocrite. – In the church, we call them Pharisees. Simply put, they look good in the pew, but there is little evidence of following their faith outside their place of worship. Pharisees were even called “whitewashed tombs,” meaning they look good on the outside, but inside they are full of death. Unfortunately, you may not be able to avoid them in any church.
  5. Avoid the Graceless. – There is a parable in Christianity in which a man was forgiven a large debt, though did not forgive another man a debt against him. In short, the larger forgiveness was canceled. Do I even need to explain the pain of holding a grudge?
  6. Avoid those who will not accept you. – This is what I dislike about the Church of Scientology. In the case of John Travolta is literally took a judge asking him under oath for him to admit his son Jett was autistic. And by then, Jett had died. What kind of church is so cruel that it rejects autism’s existence? You may need to educate on Autism Acceptance to the place of worship, but if they accept the teaching of Autism Acceptance, stay. Do I even need to explain the pain of rejecting people with real problems? The church is a hospital for sinners, not an elite club for saints.

In short, a church that only accepts the perfect and those without problems is empty. If they will not accept you, shake the dust off your feet and go find another one.

Older Dads Cause Autism – Really?

I recently came across a theory that older parents are more likely to pass on autism to their children. But can we give this theory to ALL of the autistic children? My own father was twenty-five at the time of my conception. (My mother was twenty-eight.) I think this theory cannot hold the water in every single case. Perhaps there are younger parents who pass on autism to their children without any so-called “inferior” genes. Regular genetics, whether by chance or design, is a much stronger theory, and autism existed long before it was discovered and named.  

If you don’t believe autism existed before its naming, consider the behavior of the “fairy changeling.” In many changeling legends, there exists behavior similar to autistic meltdowns and stimming. Wikipedia has several examples of this behavior listed in the various cultures of changelings. But I digress. 

Since there is evidence of autism and other conditions in fairy changeling folklore, I propose that autism existed long before its naming, and that its existence is purely due to genetics – not genetic mutation caused by older and therefore “inferior material.”