“I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.” Is this what men want their women to think? For a long time, this is what I thought of myself. So I never went out, never gave a care about my weight and my hygiene, and never really smiled at men. I did not even follow my own standards and values, because…”I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.” I am just now, almost 37, coming out of this self-hating fog. Why do I have a bunch of short-term boyfriends? This is an epidemic problem among women today, especially in the age of Photoshop.
Now we have completely unrealistic beauty standards, so unrealistic that most people would not recognize the model/actor in the photos when they walk on the street. I can hear now the statements like: “Nah, that’s not Christy Turlington (or whatever model is on the street). She’s skinnier.” I am four feet, eleven inches tall. I am a size 24. I am working on losing weight…and now here come the “credentials” and “qualifiers” for existing. Honestly, I did not even know that a woman could be my body type and be successful in the film industry until Melissa McCarthy came along. I did not realize this…even with Kathy Kinney, Delta Burke, Valerie Harper, Sophia Loren, and Marilyn Monroe existing. Do you think any of these bodies would get an acting job today? Google Tracey Gold while you’re at it. See what all that pressure did to her. But enough about Hollywood. This self-hating, “I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth” mentality permeates the regular woman, too.
Let me tell you about my dating life, in reverse. It will make sense to you that way. Currently, I live with my mother, whom I help take care of. I have only had one “relationship” in this time, but it was purely a series of booty calls. Here’s how it went: talks about marriage on Friday, the booty call on Saturday, then the breakup on Monday…and waiting for three weeks to do it all over again. Why did I do this? “I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.””I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.” Before that, I was fairly promiscuous, not daring to really go into a real relationship for several years. Why? “I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.” Then, I was in a relationship on and off for a year. Before that, another one for several years, then one for about a month. Maybe I was too young, but I never felt like I was a truly valuable individual. I was not going to keep him for long without being cheated on. And again…“I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.” The last time I had a bikini on my body, I was six years old. I was constantly told I was too fat to have one from age seven on. I mean, in this day and age, fat=ugly. Strike one. So…“I’m so ugly, I can’t get a man if I was the last woman on Earth.” I am now turning 37 years old soon…which is apparently an age too old to be thinking about dating, unless you want a cheater or a beater. Besides, old=ugly, too, in this day and culture. Also, I have smarts. I speak my mind. That gives most women an air of being a “bitch.” And, so you all know, “bitch” is also a term for a female dog. “Dog” is also a term for an ugly woman. So, strong=ugly in our culture, too, though that is changing, gladly. Acting dumb or like a princess is now turning guys off these days, at least the younger ones. Hopefully, this will change too.
So, what is your _______=ugly trouble? Height? Weight? Breast size? Age? Being too smart, or being to masculine (getting called a bitch?) I’m not trying to start an ugly-off, just wanting you to think. What do you let keep holding you back from living and loving yourself? It’s perfectly okay to love yourself. It’s even necessary. Who is going to care for you if you’re not going to do it?