The Issues, Part I

OK, I’ve been trying to get a thing to discuss in my head, and all I get are the same issues, over and over. So, this is my final word of certain issues within the community of autism:

1) Autistic or Has Autism?

There are two arguments within this: most people with autism stress “autistic” because they think of autism as a trait, while health communities stress “people first” language to improve the conditions and identities of

It does not matter to me what way you identify yourself. I switch identities depending on my audience. I have always been more than autism. The labeling does not bother me, one way or another. It’s like the pronunciation of the words tomato or potato.

2) Asperger’s or High-functioning Autism?

Again, in my eyes, a “tomato” or “potato” issue. I guess the words “Asperger’s” has been an attempt to separate the various parts of Autism Spectrum Disorder, and I believe this might be more successfully achieved in the future, barring findings suggesting otherwise. The issue arises from this fact, mostly: The latest DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual) has mulled over getting rid of the term “Asperger’s” to describe the higher-functioning end of the Spectrum. However, since a person with Autism can bounce around the spectrum from time to time, I am not in issue with what a person calls themselves this week.

3) Vaccines

Let me put it this way: “I’m sorry you got Measles and Pneumonia, honey, and had to spend time in the hospital. We thought the thing that would prevent this caused your brother’s autism. Now that we know different, since you have it…” Do you really want to give that speech to your child? The refuted, not-duplicated study is the reason, and Jenny McCarthy spread the lie even further. I am with the people that say GET THE VACCINES. Even if there was a link, which there is not, I would rather have a healthy child with autism than a sick child without.

4) People who think they know Autism better than you:


This gives the point exactly to the parents. Now to the kids themselves, aka me: I know you cringe when people describe autism wrong. It’s stupid, so speak up. We’re waiting to hear from you. 

These are the major issues I have for now. I would like to see your input on what I should discuss.


Now I’m 37…and It’s Good!

There’s a funny thing I do when a task seems daunting to me: procrastinate. I’m still guilty of it, yet I procrastinate much less these days. I used to put off cleaning, until I realized it would only take about an hour a day. Cooking is not a big chore, either-unless it’s Thanksgiving, and all your food has to be done at a certain time. (It’s still pretty easy, though.) So it was – I procrastinated age 37 until the very day I turned 37. I don’t get it. People have worshipped youth, beauty and status in this culture since its formation, yet there are some real perks nobody talks about being this age. I can’t compete with the young and skinny with men, but who wants a guy that marries way too young anyway? Most wife beaters do that. Age and heft are automatic jabroni detectors. (Yes, I said “jabroni.” I used to like wrestling a lot.) Besides, I’m not even sure there’s a guy out there for me. So who cares? I get ready for myself, exercise for myself, and eat properly for myself. And if I lose a few pounds, so be it. If not, that’s okay too. I have also learned who my real friends are, as well. Getting older does that to a person. People who regularly post on my Facebook, and people who make efforts to keep in touch with me are real treasures. Unfortunately, I am very bad with doing the same…but I’m working on it. And that is one of the benefits of age…a little more wisdom.


I Can Cook, Too!

So, I’m doing laundry today, and I decided to make some mole, just to try it. I mean, chocolate for dinner? What could be better? So I mixed up the paste and water, and heated it, and I got some- Oh, did I forget to tell you that I cook? Not just heating up microwave meals. (I mostly use the microwave for making single-serving tea for my mom.) I mean, actual chopping, baking and meals from scratch. I still need help doing major meals, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I do most of the cooking in my house. Somewhere it’s an unwritten law that autistics can’t cook-maybe it’s a part of that no taking care of themselves stereotype. So, what does that do with me? Does that mean I’m not autistic? Of course not. Maybe those unwritten lawmakers need to expand their minds a little. So many of us are learning to take care of themselves, and our caregivers, as we age. It’s not a big deal to me, taking care of myself and cooking. I also do laundry, clean and have a preference for the Shark vacuum, but I digress. There is quite a bit I do. Laundry is mostly waiting for the loads to get done, of course, but I also clean and make sure my dog is well fed and walked. (We have just cut out a bunch of mats. I guess it comes with the territory; he’s a Pomeranian.) I hope others with my condition can get to the point of self-reliance as well.

37 – Midlife crisis?

There’s a certain terror to approaching this age with me. I don’t know exactly why. I mean, it’s not like it’s 40, or 35, or I’m comparing my success (or total lack thereof) with anybody else’s. I guess it’s kind of like waiting. Waiting for the next part of my life to start. I mean, my youth is flying away faster and faster, and what have I accomplished? I still live with my mother, no relationship, no children…but I do have a dog and independence. I guess that’s good. I guess maybe I thought I would accomplish more by this time, such as a job, kids or some way to be remembered by. I mean, life is short and nearly meaningless enough. Is there no way to be remembered by? No way to put down a record saying, “I was here”? That is the scary part for me. My life is fast slipping out of my hands, and there is no record of it. I mean, I exist. But there is no record or proof that I exist. Maybe that is the scariest thing of all.