There’s  a certain actor I must mention, again, that used the word “colored” to describe a race of people. He apologized for it several days later, after learning the hard lesson about inappropriate language to describe somebody. Far be it from me to be perfect, but it seems to be a sticking point with him. He has used inflammatory language to describe those of us with autism (without meaning to, I’m sure), and this can be put in his “Your Fave Is Problematic” article-it’s getting really hard to defend him to my peers and my friends. The question people ask is, how do you put up with this behavior? How do you continue to like this guy when he continually puts his foot in his mouth?

The way I can still like this is, I forgive him. I have forgiven my father, my mother, my sister and brothers…almost everyone I have known has needed forgiveness for some slight against me. Forgiveness is good. It is not excusing or dismissing the wrong; it is not letting the wrong hold power over you in your life. It is not letting the wrong play over and over in your head. I learned that the hard way, recently. There is an old saying: “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I’m sorry, but the man I am speaking of is not going to get hurt by your anger against him. You can let the rage and resentment go. Besides, I am sure you might like him better if you knew he was human.

Besides, we now know that the man apologized. What if he did not know it was wrong to use the language? The answer is, at least he knows now. We cannot undo the past; we can only hope to change the future.

I got shocked and angered by what he said, but its power has already subsided. How? Why, forgiveness, of course.


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Autistic woman in her 40s, bringing attention to issues that affect her and her kind.

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