Too Many Strikes: Have I Missed My Chance?

Too short, too fat, too autistic, too brunette…do I have to add too old to my list of strikes against me? There is such a standard of perfection expected among women that it’s like a list of traits about me is a list of things women pretend in order to ward off creeps at the bar. And as they say in baseball and Hollywood, too many strikes and you’re out. Or are you?

Let me list my strikes against me, for example:

Too short (under 5′ 8″ tall): strike

Too fat (larger than size 0): strike

Too autistic (autistic AT ALL): strike

Too old (over 30): strike

Okay, this is depressing me. I can’t sit around and list all the things going against me – I’m not gunning for Donald Trump or the like. I’m not wanting a shallow, unfeeling user of a man who uses a woman up and then throws her out when she turns 40. (Maybe that’s why I’m still single. I have high standards.) That’s not what I’m all about. Besides, my mother was married at 50. That’s one strike down, for starters. She is slightly larger than me in physical size, so that’s another. Then, there’s the height issue too. She’s short as well…another strike down. Finally, people with autism get married, when they are allowed to. So, any real strikes? Not exactly. Hollywood creates such an illusion that you have to be perfect to get anything at all as a woman that it leaves about 100% of existing women miserable because they do not measure up. Yes, I said 100% of women. I have yet to see a picture that is not photoshopped within an inch of its life in a magazine…counting since the 1980s. How are we supposed to live up to this standard, and expect to catch a man who is good enough not to beat us? Maybe that’s the catch. Honestly, I have grown to hate Hollywood for this very reason. Yes, it’s supposed to be a fantasy, but even the ugly have fantasies of being loved and accepted. Are regular people not allowed to have fantasies? Sorry, but I have fantasies of love and acceptance whether you like it or not. I am going to indulge those fantasies, even if I have to do it alone for the rest of my life, because I now love and accept myself. So now, I can look at 38 and embrace it with the gusto of the next part of my life.


Published by


Autistic woman in her 40s, bringing attention to issues that affect her and her kind.

2 thoughts on “Too Many Strikes: Have I Missed My Chance?”

  1. There is no such thing as “too many strikes”, You are you and that is all you need to be. Idc what end of the Autism spectrum you fall on. I have friends that fall all over that spectrum and that doesn’t change the fact that they and you are beautiful people. Having high standards doesn’t mean anything. When the time is right, none of those “strikes” are going to matter or count. Chin up buttercup, your day will come. 🙂

    Oh and my daughters name is Cambria too. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s