“What is Empathy?” by Married, With Aspergers

Empathy. Everyone knows what it is, right? It’s that sixth sense, a kind of ESP that picks up the vibes of what somebody else is feeling. Except that telepathy doesn’t exist, and given the lack of Betazoids on Earth there is nobody who can genuinely “hear” emotions broadcast by your brain. So what is empathy […]

via What Is Empathy? — Married, With Aspergers

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Body Wars

amy-schumerWhen I look at Amy Schumer’s pictures, I see a confident, beautiful woman. She seems absolutely fit and beautiful to me. It seems that it is not apparent to some people, because she is also a clear Endomorph.

There are three major body types: Endomorph, Mesomorph and Ectomorph. An endomorph is the kind of body that Amy Schumer has. It is often pear-shaped and stores more fat than the other two. Marilyn Monroe and Scarlett Johansson are two more examples. A Mesomorph is someone who has a balance between fat and thin, and are more muscular than the other two. Halle Berry is a good example, I have been told.  An ectomorph is usually the thinnest, and apparently the most in fashion. Most fashion models, Keira Knightley, and other very thin celebrities are good examples. Keep in mind, it is not always apparent which body type a person is or is not. Kindness and sensitivity make the world a better place. (Also, I could be wrong about there only being three major body types: We could have hybrid types, and others named.)

Let me get this straight: I am not a hater of any body type. I think there are beautiful people who exist in all body types. What I actually hate is people being shamed for not living up to some preconceived, changing ideal that they cannot live up to anyway. Body shamers often think people have to be one body type or another to be “healthy” or “attractive,” when in reality there are many people who fit other body types. Being an endomorph myself, I often feel the shame of being the “wrong” body type when I hear others being shamed for being endomorphs. For the people who say “Stop promoting obesity!” To us, I would like to see them cough up the exorbitant surgery costs to change our bodies for us if they hate us so much. I am also sure that mesomorphs and ectomorphs get this same kind of shame when they hear stuff like “Eat a sandwich!” Or “Stop lifting weights ya freak!” All I hear from body shamers is “YOU’RE NOT ME! BE LIKE ME!” To the body shamers, all I have to say is: If I am shameful to you, you are shameful to someone else.

Why Does “The DUFF” Shake Me?

I know this should not happen. “The DUFF” is just a movie. A pretty silly one, to be sure.

I was made fun of throughout high school, not just behind my back, but in front of me. It literally took an apology from one of these tormentors just to accept their Facebook friendship. Besides, people get bullied all the time. But what shakes me is that there was no one in my school to be on my side, except the teachers. I even worried about being called the Teacher’s Pet behind my back. Sure, people get bullied all the time. I’m pretty sure bullying is now so pervasive, people expect it. I certainly expected that people will be a bitch to you, no matter what.

I guess what really got my goat was that I had no friends to count on, nobody to even come to in my times of pain. I had never really experienced true friendship. I define true friendship as people who will stick by you no matter what, people who will stand up for you when you are being bullied. The girl in “The DUFF” had true friends. I did not. I mean, I don’t remember anyone standing up for me. No one came to my aid as I was being made fun of by Alicia Barcenas my senior year. Nobody came to my aid when I was being teased throughout middle school. I had to do everything ALONE. I mean, are there real, true friends in high school anyway? And if so, was I too weird or unacceptable to have any? WHY? What made me so ugly and unacceptable that people had to run away when I would try to be their friend? I

I guess I never really knew how to make friends, and to this day, I can only truly communicate my real feelings through what I do here, without anyone to make fun of or bully me.

So, if you’re willing to admit you know me, where are you and why can I not reach you?

Celebrity, Part 2

Now, don’t get me wrong: I don’t absolutely despise celebrity; I believe it can be a force for good. What I despise is the absolute humiliation that people will subject themselves to for it.  I am talking about the crazy things spewed by celebrities, especially reality stars, in order to achieve fame in and of itself, as if fame is the ultimate goal of life. I believe fame is a pleasant side effect of the tenets of success; it’s a demonstration of love and acceptance among most people.

What I really despise is the dark side of fame: the shaming, the constant need to be your public persona all the time, and the eventual public shaming that comes with showing any weakness or vulnerability at all. I mean, even celebrities are publicly shamed for being vulnerable; how much more so the rest of us. That constant need to be on guard all the time is tiring. Plus, if you have some catchphrase or punchline you come up with, like “Git-R-Done” for example, everyone will want that from you, since it becomes familiar.

So what if I become a celebrity: it’s not likely that I will, though. I am only writing a book about growing up to help those like me and my family, not trying to become famous.

Celebrity

Just a little update, guys: I am currently in the beginning stages of a book. It was suggested to me by my mother, who wanted to know what it was like growing up as me. I was recently asked if I wanted to be a celebrity, and I said no, which was the truth. My previous attempts at celebrity failed, and there are some things I will not do for celebrity. It’s not worth the brutality affected at women in public shaming which now takes place on social media. (“I hope you get raped.” You honestly wish rape on another human being? You’re evil.) I will not even appear on a reality show, as of May 5th, 2016. Again, they’re not worth the brutality of the keyboard bullies.  

What if you just don’t care what people think?

Maybe it’s an age thing, but my mother stopped caring what people think-how they dismiss her according to stereotypes presented by Hollywood. I mean, I could explain how a workplace injury caused nerve damage making it difficult for her to walk, but all people see is her weight, and people want to make her walk. So, she just stopped caring what people think. I’m almost to that stage, I hope, because my fearing peoples’ opinions meter is just about wiped out. I know they judge me and rarely talk to me, even in church, when I reveal my autism to them. I’m tired of all this caring and giving, only to get nothing in return. People assume that because I’m autistic, I don’t want to talk to them. They could not be more wrong. I crave interaction with people; I just don’t know when to jump in. I’ve decided to just stop caring, because people do not care that I am starved for social interaction. So, I don’t care what people think. I’m going to have to turn to God for my love, affection and interaction.