Cartoon Women

Why do people need to act and believe their cartoons?  Cartoons are what happens when people believe their stereotypes. 

Here’s the problem with stereotypes: most people believe them, at least secretly.  

Here is an example: A later episode of What Not to Wear featured a woman who dressed so feminine, she acted like a cartoon. Now this is an extreme example, but it is very close to stereotypes regarding women. A giant beehive, tons of bubblegum makeup, strands of pearls, and super-high heels.  

Another example? Willie, a character in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. A most annoying and ingratiating character, yes, but she seems little more than a bundle of stereotypes. I’m not laying the blame at Capshaw’s feet, though. She is among a class of people who can portray anyone. The character was written stereotypically, the damsel in distress. Well, the damsel in distress was largely out of fashion by the 1980s, thanks to the introduction of Princess Leia and other more participatory lead women. Most people dislike the character of Willie, and she is counted among the most annoying characters ever put to film. 

My point about bringing up the damsel in distress, and the character of What Not to Wear, are that these women are literally cartoons of femininity. The problem with cartoons is, most people believe them. They are detrimental to things like peace, love and understanding. I brought up feminine stereotypes because they are ones I am closest to, but here’s a good example of detriment: How many persons of color have been followed in a store because the people who work there think the person of color is an automatic thief? How about all the women who have been denied their autism diagnosis simply because they are women? There’s the “aggressive, savage” black person, the “hysterical” Hispanic, and the “math genius-ninja” Asian. Sure, there are a few people who fit the stereotype, but most of them do not. Let me break it down: Who is going to listen to someone “hysterical”? Who is going to stock up on guns to protect themselves from the “aggressive savage”? Most people are fighting the cartoon version of their kind daily.  

Why can’t people be real?

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Where are the Girly Autistics, TV People?

I have a problem. There is a dearth of people with autism who like to wear makeup. Sure, some of us autistic people may dislike the look and feel of makeup on their faces, but not me. I love the way my makeup makes me look and feel. Also, once fashion, or more appropriately, style, was demystified for me, I figured out how to use it, too. I like makeup, I like fashion, and I have autism. So why am I nonexistent in the media?
I have a feeling that I am not supposed to be womanly and autistic at the same time. I feel like I am wrong and rebellious when I am in makeup and stylish clothes. That to be autistic, I have to abandon my genuine likes and my being myself in order for people to believe me. I feel weird and like an outsider for being both autistic and girly, or womanly. I also feel this is wrong. So, tell me, media, where are the girly autistics?

Accept and Augment

There is a disconnect between what most people think Autism Acceptance is and what it really is. Most people think Autism Acceptance is letting the person flounder around aimlessly in life and let them waste their time on earth. That is simply not true. You work around autism, not destroy it, not let it rule you. If you could imagine, for a moment, a person that lacks the ability to walk. Do you let them drag themselves around on the street? No! You get them a wheelchair or other walking aid. Accepting autistic people as they are does not mean leaving them to flounder in their pain. It means you teach them how to function in the world obviously not made for them.
I’m not entirely against training the autistic child on how to function in this world. What I am against is the lack of explanation that this is how to function in the world. Explaining that this is how to function kind of sounds like this:
“Cami, this is how most people function in the world. By talking and using words.”
“Cami, I need you to use your words.”
“Cami, that is inappropriate. Please talk about something else.”
(*Cami was my childhood nick name. I might as well put my name in.)
The point is, if the child does not know what you are doing, how are they going to get on board?
I’m also not entirely against the concept of accommodations and adjustments for the autistic, either. Another fallacy in the way society treats the autistic is that they treat it the way they treat mental illness, or any other invisible illness. Would you tell a person with a broken arm or leg that they need to “do better,” or “get out of your funk”? Would you tell someone with the flu they need to try harder to get well? Of course not. Just because a stim makes you uncomfortable does not mean it needs to stop. Does the autistic yell at you to stop talking, for example? No. They know it comforts you to hear your own voice. Why not give that same compassion to them?

Hollywood: No Country for Real Women

Has anyone noticed that the “regular” size of women in Hollywood is double zero? Not even zero anymore. Even a size 2 is now fat in Hollywood. Unless, of course, you’re one of the very few women in the media who’s actually obese. I could call out most of these women by name and count them on one finger. Kathy Kinney, Chrissy Metz, and Melissa McCarthy are the only ones I know of. But I’m not here to judge them, or the super-small waifs who usually grace the screen that there’s almost nothing left of.  

It’s mostly the directors’ fault. Twiggy would look fat next to these women, and Twiggy is an admitted anorexic. I mean, what do they use to judge women’s bodies – a broomstick?  

Of course, maybe it’s the sexist environment that contributed the #MeToo movement that cause the love of women with eating disorders. Maybe they want the women to be abuseable. And a woman who is obsessed with how she looks to men is definitely abuseable.  

A Short Ditty about Dr. King

What can I say about the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr.? How he championed nonviolence? How his struggles for the black people and others spurs my own civil rights struggle? (Yes, as an autistic, and a woman, I struggle for love, acceptance and civil rights.) Yes, I can say a lot about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And his legacy, but I feel that others can do it much better than I can.  So I will let them.

The State of the Autistic Person 2018

As I see it, the State of the Autistic is, well, poor. We have a long way to go. Let’s start with the obvious:

  1. The average life expectancy of the autistic person is 54 years old, even though autism should not affect life expectancy directly. (By contrast, neurotypical lifespan are roughly 80 years in the USA.) 
  2. With other diagnoses, such as epilepsy, life expectancy lowers to 39, even though autism should not directly affect life expectancy. (Again, life expectancy is roughly 80 years for most neurotypical people.) 
  3. Many of these people are murdered and raped by their caregiving families. 
  4. Autistic voices are routinely ignored, just as much, if not more, than female voices.
  5. Almost every autistic woman I know has been raped, molested and/or abused, myself included. 
  6. Almost everyone I know with autism has either no job or a low-paying job. 
  7. I myself am on disability payments to live and take care of my mother with. 

 This is a bleak picture which I do not see changing, because nobody will listen to autistic adults. Autistic adults are often treated like they do not exist, even by parents of autistic children. If they can, they are expected to be neurotypical. If not, they are locked away in institutions. How is this fair to autistic people?