Ten Things that Grind my Gears

  1. The whole treatment of Meg Griffin.
  2. Having to borrow a title from a show that treats their teen daughter like feces.
  3. The fact that I have to hide the fact that my very nice upstairs neighbor is black because some very powerful white people assume she is some kind of criminal.
  4. The fact that I am forty and only qualified to work in a fast food joint because I only have an Associate Degree.
  5. People who go swimming in pubic pools when they don’t feel well. Stay home and get well!
  6. The fact that I have to justify my autism diagnosis because I am not Sheldon Cooper, Raymond “Rain Man” Babbitt, or some other white male whose weird is life-throttling.
  7. The fact that I have yet to see an autistic girl who likes assumed girly things on T.V.
  8. That most of the autistic people in media are white, male and otherwise of a privileged class.
  9. That these stereotypes throttle non-white, non-male autistic people from being believed.
  10. That I am even having to mention these in the 21st Century.
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You Don’t Know Me

So, autistic parent who thinks that just because I don’t act EXACTLY like your child, I’m not autistic enough? You don’t know me! Person who thinks I am a dismiss-worthy weirdo? You don’t know me!

You don’t know how intense, loud and colorful I experience the world. You don’t even know how your own child experiences the world. It could be more intense, or maybe it could be less intense. Or, and this is more likely, it may be a combination of both – more intense in some areas, or less intense in other areas.

 You don’t know how much I struggle to come up with the right word. You don’t know how I witness almost every conversation (or interview, in some cases) can go down in flames because I say the wrong word. You don’t know. You don’t know the nights I spent awake agonizing and finally coming up with the right words to say, long after the opportunity to say them is gone.

 You don’t know how I have no emotional memory. You don’t know the hours I spend in private because I am crying over my own pain, or the pain of someone else. You don’t know that I am currently wishing people would just evacuate the Big Island of Hawaii because it seems to be exploding to me.

 Are you psychic? Can you read my mind? Of course not. Maybe if you could, you would be more understanding and accepting of my differences.

What I Want From Benedict Cumberbatch

So, I’ve noticed that you guys have read a lot of Benedict Cumberbatch on the release of Avengers: Infinity War. And, I must admit, it’s a rare negative light on the star. I’m afraid for him now, for a few reasons.

I’m afraid people think I don’t like him. Nothing could be further from the truth. He’s one of my favorite actors. The reason what he said several years ago hurt so much is because he is one of my favorite actors. I’ve learned, the hard way, not to let a stranger too close to the bone in that instance. In going back and reviewing what I wrote about him, it’s hard to imagine positives without being reminded of them.

I’m afraid people will forget the work he does for charity. He often auctions personal possessions for various charities. For Infinity War, for example, he auctioned off a meeting for tea for an African organization. He often auctions off personal works for organzations as well. I’d just like him to look for something that brings light to Autism Acceptance.

So, what do I want from Benedict Cumberbatch? I want him to turn a little of that charity work towards an organization that practices Autism Acceptance. I want him to see autistic people as people. Many other people refuse to see the autistic as a human being. Maybe I just want him to recognize that ableism can be drilled into you by the media and society so hard, it becomes a part of you. It happened to me, it can happen to him. I guess what I really want is for him to listen, learn, and accept. Is that too much?

April Wrap-Up: It’s A Little Better

So, another Autism Awareness Month has come and gone. Is everyone OK? I hope so. Although most of the autism Awareness emphasis was toward the beginning, people might want to reminisce toward the types of progress the autistic community has made. I’ve made lists of the Pros and Cons toward this progress. For the first time, there have been definite Pros.

 The Pros:

1. There has been a definite shift toward what autistic people want and need.

2. Autistic voices are finally gaining some sort of traction toward being heard.

3. There has been a rise in finding and diagnosing autism, particularly in communities of color.

4. More female portrayals of autism are coming around in the media.

5. At least in my local grocery store, there has been a shift toward acceptance and social inclusion.

 The Cons:

1. Autism Speaks still wants to “DESTROY AUTISM!!!” as if autism is some sort of social cancer. (It’s not; prejudice is, though.)

2. The portrayals of autism in the media are still generally white and male. This stereotype still rules and harms autistic people everywhere, even denying them diagnosis in females. I have yet to see an autistic woman who is like me on TV.

3. Sheldon Cooper, who does not have an official diagnosis, is the gatekeeper of autism in many neurotypical minds.

4. There has been only one major portrayal of autistic persons of color: Billy the Blue Power Ranger in the Power Rangers Movie of 2017.

5. Most people still think autistic adults are not autistic enough to speak for autistic children.

6. The Autism Community is still fragmented, with parents of the autistic on one side and autistic people on the other.

7. ANDREW WAKEFIELD, JENNY MCCARTHY AND THE VACCINE BLAMERS!

8. The Most Important: People still think autism is a tragedy. Some people even have to wait until adulthood to get diagnosed because their parents do not want their children to be autistic. (Nobody gets a choice in the matter!)

 While the Cons List is almost twice as long, the fact that there are actually Pros is a plus. I previously referenced April as The Trauma Month, if you remember reading that back in March. If we get over our differences, band together and fight the prejudice against us, someday the Pros list will be longer. That, my friends, I am looking forward to.

Everybody Chill: The Rate is Better Diagnosis

Sorry, but I will not sugarcoat it. I don’t know how. By now, I’m sure you have heard that the new autism prevalence is 1 in 59, up from 1 in 68. And do you know what? I don’t think sugarcoating applies here. If we did not attach a stigma or hate to an autism diagnosis, as American society tends to do to the non-white-bread types, I would not have to warn you.

 Now, let’s get down to your real question: Why? What could be the cause of a higher prevalence than before in the United States? I just put a clue up above. It’s wider screening, especially among children of color. A recent article by the Associated Press cited closing gaps of diagnosis between Black (20% gap – 10% gap) and Hispanic (50% gap – 20% gap) children. It looks like we’re casting wider nets than ever to grab these children and propel them toward a new understanding.

 So, what are we supposed to do with this new information. Well, I’ve got a strange idea: Close your eyes, relax, and see this new rate for what it is: good news on better understanding your kids.

It’s Time to Rename Asperger’s Syndrome: How about Autism?

Hans Asperger. A supposed “hero” for the autistic white boys who lived in Nazi Germany….not so much. It has recently been revealed that he sent undesirable children to the execution programs, particularly if they were female, or of “mixed Jewish Blood,” which meant damnation in Nazi Germany. Now some people who identify with Asperger’s Syndrome are in shock and despair, wondering what to do or how to identify next?

I’ll be honest: I never really identified as “Asperger’s Syndrome,” because it did not fit the more-accurate childhood diagnosis I received, and my mother fought for endlessly. Sure, knowing you were different hurt at first, but I slowly realized that knowing your condition/impairment was a real advantage in getting along with the world. Now, back to the question at hand: what to do with Hans Asperger’s legacy? Now, this might seem radical to some, but why not avail yourself to current research and hitch your wagon to Leo Kanner’s horse? What is currently known as Asperger’s Syndrome and a form of autism are basically the same thing, are they not?

Quit trying to separate yourself or your child from the advantages given in being a member of the autistic tribe. Being autistic means that those supposedly strange requests are now reasonable accommodations. Being autistic means that you have a name, tribe and culture to identify with – that involves Ghostbusters. Being autistic means that said culture will love you endlessly and unconditionally, knowing you or your child are one of its own. Sure, your life seems harder because you have an identifiable difference, but isn’t it easier than hitching your wagon to a Nazi?

World Autism Day

It’s mostly been a quiet World Autism Day for me. (I’m not exactly sure my mother noticed it.) I put on my red sweats and relaxed around the house. If we were going out, I would have worn jeans and a red sweater (it was cold). Tomorrow, I’ll wear my red shirt and jeans. It will be warm. I will wear red as much as I possibly can this month.  

Now, there will be monuments lit up blue tonight in honor of Autism Speaks. I’ve learned to see them as they are – brainwashed by Autism Speaks. Autism Speaks uses blue to say that more boys than girls are on the spectrum. So, why ignore autistic girls altogether? Do they not want us to exist? But I digress. Their genetic database campaign is called MSSNG – “missing” something. It’s the same reason they use the puzzle piece. Autism Speaks supports Applied Behavior Analysis – basically withholding love, affection, and even basic needs like food, water and going to the bathroom until we stop being so autistic. Anyway, that hate group Autism Speaks has had enough of my blogspace already.  

I will wear red on World Autism Day. I will wear red as much as I can this month. I am an autistic adult, who is not being listened to because she is an autistic adult. I live at the intersection of autistic and woman, which means persecution from men and from neurotypicals.  

It has come to my attention that Savannah Guthrie wore red this morning, though she did not say why. I cannot assume it was for autism acceptance, but if it was, I would like to say Thank You again like I did on Twitter. Autism acceptance is necessary for the world. It helps with a myriad of problems which exacerbate autistic suffering.