Leave it in the Booth

Do you wish you had a say in how your government works? Do you wish you could tell the government what you want, have people who care about you and your issues represent you in Congress? I’ve got good news. You do have a say that can affect the government. It’s called a vote. You simply go into the booth and make the choice. I’m not versed on all the ways and machines you use to vote, but you simply make the choice you want. I heard the officials use simpler machines and systems than that used to. My precinct uses a paper you read into the machine.  

I’ve also decided to address some issues and sayings regarding why people do not vote. Unfortunately, I have an issue with each of them:  

1) “My Vote Won’t Make a Difference.”  

Newsflash: As of writing this, we are within 48 hours of the polls opening. Polls show a slight margin to one side. Notice I said SLIGHT. The polls might even be in the margin of error. I’m not saying which way they’re leaning, because it might poison the will of that side. I want everyone who can to vote. Besides, there are countless stories online about narrowly decided elections. So, maybe this country is big and you’re small, but at least you can make a choice – unlike other countries.  

2) “I Don’t Like the Lesser of Two Evils Strategy.”  

I’ve railed against the Lesser of Two Evils myself. Remember the 2016 posts? Anyway, now that it’s midterms, there is a chance there are more parties to vote for besides Democrat and Republican. I know those are the major ones, but you might be able to put a referendum on those parties!  

3) “The Weather Does Not Agree with Me.” 

It has been said Republicans should pray for rain. But, I believe Uber and Lyft offer free rides to polling places. I wish I could drive so I could help people get to the polls – but I’m pretty sure you know  

4) “It Takes Too Long to Vote/Too Far Away.”  

Let me get on my soapbox for a minute. How could you say your vote is inconvenient when you can google Voter Suppression and find it, even in this election? How many of your ancestors fought and died to have their say? How many of your foremothers and forefathers could not even vote? How many of your relatives cannot vote now? You who are registered, you are privileged! You have a chance to speak when others do not! Have your say! 

 

If you’re registered, please vote. I really don’t care who you vote for, whether it be Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Green or even Communist – even if it’s against who I want. I want you to be heard. I want you to have your say.

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For the Parent(s) of Autistic Children

CONTENT WARNING: Ableism, vaccine blame,  

I know, I know, most parents of autistic children consider Autistic Adults as nothing but clueless, not-autistic-enough morons. Why should you care what us morons known as Autistic Adults have to say? They’re not autistic enough to speak about your child! Truth is, all autistic children becomes us morons.  

  1. Autism is Not Going Away – So accept it. – Your child was autistic the whole time. Perhaps they regressed after a long time of growth and development. Current theory correlates the cause to over pruning of the child’s memory ways at about 18 months to 2 years old. Besides, if you don’t tell them, they will eventually find out themselves. Add a rejection of the autism diagnosis, and you will plant permanent seeds of doubt that they actually love you. It happened to me.  
  2. VACCINES DID NOT CAUSE YOUR CHILD’S AUTISM!!!!! – Unfortunately, now that vaccine-preventable diseases are making a comeback, I have to SCREAM the above point.
  3. Yes, your child is communicating; you’re not listening.  – Children with autism, even though they may not use words, they are trying to communicate. They may communicate physically. They may communicate through song. They may communicate through behavior – most of them communicate through behavior.
  4.  Meltdowns are not tantrums; they are something else altogether. – In case you don’t know: your child does not turn into the Hulk on purpose. It is usually an overwhelming sight, sound, smell, taste or touch that causes that. I’ll give you an example:  From October through December, there are, in some stores, some strongly-scented cinnamon brooms, or cinnamon-scented pine cones, in some area for sale. I once told my mother that these heavily cinnamon-scented articles literally burn my nose. (Yes, I do know what literally means.) I get a burning sensation, and it takes nearly everything in me not to have a meltdown right then and there. If I were a child, the meltdown would probably be inevitable. Sure, I’ve had my meltdowns every now and then, but they can be prevented. Perhaps knowledge they will come has now prevented the more recent cinnamon-related one.
  5.  About ambition: let them have some. You don’t know what potential is inside your child. – There is a common misconception that autistic people have little hope of living on their own, or even outside an institution or family successfully. As a woman, I keep my house clean, do regular chores, and care for my mother, who is disabled. I can cook, pay bills and easily manage a budget. I haven’t yet learned how to drive, but that is coming. I can pretty much do everything else, though. Why am I tooting my own horn so much? Your own autistic child has so much potential to unlock, plus there are coming opportunities I and others before me have never had. Nurture them! 

This is by no means an exhaustive list. My mother is lucky to still have me; there are autistic adults out there who want to ban parents altogether.

About Systematic Rape and Sexual Abuse in the Catholic Church

WARNING: Content includes talk of rape, coverup and sexual abuse. Proceed with caution.

What can I say? That it literally took getting secular police involved to expose the scandal? That coverup and lies were the norm? That the Church has traumatized people with its policies against my loving God? It is literally the scandal of our time. Now, there is at least one person calling on the current Pope to resign. This is beginning to raise questions in the minds of people. 

Are there people who don’t know who their fathers are because of the coverup policies? The answer is yes. The media exposed at least one. Are there people who are suffering from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases because of the policies of the church? There hasn’t been anyone exposed yet, but I’m sure there are. Are there celebrities who have been abused by priests and are dealing with the repercussions in rage? I don’t know, but Kevin Smith, the mind behind the movie Dogma, is a good candidate. I’m not saying he was abused, but his material makes you wonder. 

This is also raising questions in my own mind and heart.  

Did my best friend suffer at the hands of somebody in the Catholic Church? Yes, I was best friends with a Catholic girl. We met in public school. I’m not sure if she did suffer, since I never saw her get alone with anyone working in the church, but you’re never quite sure. How many of my friends and colleagues suffered at the hands of these priests and others? How much sex did superiors extort from the priests in the coverups? You know, how much “Suck my dick or I’ll tell” happened? We may never know.  

Now here’s the meat of the conversation: How many people were turned away from God because of these actions? How much hypocrisy does it take to get people to hate God? I hear it isn’t much these days. That is what the Catholic Church ought to be worried about. Their hypocrisy has become a destructive force to their ministry. The scandal they tried to avoid, only blew up in their faces.  

What does the Catholic Church do at this point? The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, He (God) is able to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) But they must do more. They must understand that people, including priests and nuns, are human, and as such, have sinful desires, such as sex with children and teenagers. They need a plan to expose and purge out the evil, not cover it up. We are living in the effect of covering it up. The Church has let the leprosy grow, and now the resulting scandal threatens them all.  

I guess, the one thing we need to learn is: Your sins will find you out.  

Ten Things that Grind my Gears

  1. The whole treatment of Meg Griffin.
  2. Having to borrow a title from a show that treats their teen daughter like feces.
  3. The fact that I have to hide the fact that my very nice upstairs neighbor is black because some very powerful white people assume she is some kind of criminal.
  4. The fact that I am forty and only qualified to work in a fast food joint because I only have an Associate Degree.
  5. People who go swimming in pubic pools when they don’t feel well. Stay home and get well!
  6. The fact that I have to justify my autism diagnosis because I am not Sheldon Cooper, Raymond “Rain Man” Babbitt, or some other white male whose weird is life-throttling.
  7. The fact that I have yet to see an autistic girl who likes assumed girly things on T.V.
  8. That most of the autistic people in media are white, male and otherwise of a privileged class.
  9. That these stereotypes throttle non-white, non-male autistic people from being believed.
  10. That I am even having to mention these in the 21st Century.

You Don’t Know Me

So, autistic parent who thinks that just because I don’t act EXACTLY like your child, I’m not autistic enough? You don’t know me! Person who thinks I am a dismiss-worthy weirdo? You don’t know me!

You don’t know how intense, loud and colorful I experience the world. You don’t even know how your own child experiences the world. It could be more intense, or maybe it could be less intense. Or, and this is more likely, it may be a combination of both – more intense in some areas, or less intense in other areas.

 You don’t know how much I struggle to come up with the right word. You don’t know how I witness almost every conversation (or interview, in some cases) can go down in flames because I say the wrong word. You don’t know. You don’t know the nights I spent awake agonizing and finally coming up with the right words to say, long after the opportunity to say them is gone.

 You don’t know how I have no emotional memory. You don’t know the hours I spend in private because I am crying over my own pain, or the pain of someone else. You don’t know that I am currently wishing people would just evacuate the Big Island of Hawaii because it seems to be exploding to me.

 Are you psychic? Can you read my mind? Of course not. Maybe if you could, you would be more understanding and accepting of my differences.

April Wrap-Up: It’s A Little Better

So, another Autism Awareness Month has come and gone. Is everyone OK? I hope so. Although most of the autism Awareness emphasis was toward the beginning, people might want to reminisce toward the types of progress the autistic community has made. I’ve made lists of the Pros and Cons toward this progress. For the first time, there have been definite Pros.

 The Pros:

1. There has been a definite shift toward what autistic people want and need.

2. Autistic voices are finally gaining some sort of traction toward being heard.

3. There has been a rise in finding and diagnosing autism, particularly in communities of color.

4. More female portrayals of autism are coming around in the media.

5. At least in my local grocery store, there has been a shift toward acceptance and social inclusion.

 The Cons:

1. Autism Speaks still wants to “DESTROY AUTISM!!!” as if autism is some sort of social cancer. (It’s not; prejudice is, though.)

2. The portrayals of autism in the media are still generally white and male. This stereotype still rules and harms autistic people everywhere, even denying them diagnosis in females. I have yet to see an autistic woman who is like me on TV.

3. Sheldon Cooper, who does not have an official diagnosis, is the gatekeeper of autism in many neurotypical minds.

4. There has been only one major portrayal of autistic persons of color: Billy the Blue Power Ranger in the Power Rangers Movie of 2017.

5. Most people still think autistic adults are not autistic enough to speak for autistic children.

6. The Autism Community is still fragmented, with parents of the autistic on one side and autistic people on the other.

7. ANDREW WAKEFIELD, JENNY MCCARTHY AND THE VACCINE BLAMERS!

8. The Most Important: People still think autism is a tragedy. Some people even have to wait until adulthood to get diagnosed because their parents do not want their children to be autistic. (Nobody gets a choice in the matter!)

 While the Cons List is almost twice as long, the fact that there are actually Pros is a plus. I previously referenced April as The Trauma Month, if you remember reading that back in March. If we get over our differences, band together and fight the prejudice against us, someday the Pros list will be longer. That, my friends, I am looking forward to.

Stigmatizing Help: WHY?????

Mariah Carey spoke of first being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2001. Since she only recently came out of the mental illness closet, I figured she suffered greatly due to the stigma and the secret she held. And it was also true; she admitted to this suffering. Sadly, this is not the only case of suffering due to stigma I can personally account for.
I know a person who came out of the mental illness closet almost immediately after being diagnosed. Unfortunately, she lost a lot of friends along the way. Also, she was blamed for extreme measures being taken to control her by one of those former friends. She suffered through adjustments through medications for a year, and she did it alone.
So, who did she turn to when she needed help for tough financial decisions when undergoing these changes? NOBODY. She and I have large amounts of financial debt and cannot even declare bankruptcy to clear those debts. We are hounded by mail. We are hounded by phone. We are hounded by bad credit scores. And we have no one to turn to in our hour of need. Where is everybody? Everybody we know turned away when we came out of the mental illness closet.
Why do we hate getting help? Why do we discriminate against those with mental illness? Stigmatizing mental illness is only society shooting itself in the foot. Less people seek help, which leads to more hiding, which leads to dramatic confrontations of the jackass-on-a-fast-food-roof kind. Don’t you see? Making help a thing of weakness and vulnerability only makes us weak and vulnerable against the coming drama. We need to stop stigmatizing getting help for your problems. It would have saved years of pain and suffering in Carey’s case.