Well, there is not a lot to say now. This Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month has been dominated by Coronavirus. There was a little talk about autism at the beginning, but it’s been mostly about the pandemic. Granted, there were some puzzle pieces here and there, and the tone-deaf White House did the “Light it Up Blue” thing, among other places, but Covid-19 took out most of the ableism.
Isn’t it funny how it took a global pandemic to finally get the “able” bodied and minded to feel what isolated disabled people have been feeling all their lives? We have been isolated, lonely, dejected, and rejected. Why do you think we have chips on our shoulders?
An update about my family: no one has called or receive calls from my mother’s side of the family except one aunt. In my nuclear family, the only one to call or receive calls is my younger brother. On my father’s side, at least my last living aunt calls every once in a while. I give more credence to my aunt on my father’s side because she actually calls. Mark my words: if I ever get rich or successful, they will be the only ones I acknowledge as family or get a red cent of my money.
Good early morning, everyone. It is after 3:00 am Central Kentucky time. This comes after my sleep schedule has been reversed – literally. I sleep in the daytime and am active at night. My mother needs more sleep, so she’s able to do that. It is at times like this I may be jealous of her…but I know she is suffering from similar sleep disturbances. This is the singular issue that troubles me the most, the weird sleep schedule. I should have mentioned it earlier in my posts.
Concerning issues that rattle the cages, there is a lot of fear behind recent protests of the stay at home orders. I know this, because people are afraid of starving and running out of food. They need money to get food. This strikes at the base of Abraham Maslow’s pyramid of needs. (That’s for another day.)
The governor of my state has laid out seven pillars of whether we can open the economy safely. I don’t know if similar plans have been laid out in your state, or nation for that matter, so I’m not going to bother you with them here. The main thrust of the matter is, whether or not the state is on the downslope of new cases of Covid-19. (A little aside: Covid-19 is numbered for the year it was discovered, 2019.) Until we can determine that we are, it is not safe. Also, do you want to overwhelm the system, almost guaranteeing certain sectors of people will die for sure? Do you want to kill them?
I know you’re isolated. I know you’re scared. I know you’re starving.
What I don’t know is whether we can reopen the economy properly yet, and keep you and yours safe and secure. That is the crux of the issue.
Anyway, about hardship, this is a rant. My dryer broke yesterday. I don’t know when we will be able to get a new one. The stimulus money is nowhere to be found yet, and I can’t repair or install the dryer myself, which is what I may need to do. Any suggestions?
When you have been as isolated as long as I have, you tend to go into your head a lot. And sometimes, you come up with “Deep” thoughts…maybe. This is one of those times for me.
Have you noticed that when people cry, they are seen as weak by our society? This notion exists for most men and even certain sectors of women, as well as others. It is precisely this societal pressure to “man up” and not show emotions that drives a certain theory of mine.
It takes more strength to cry for many individuals than it does to hold things inside.
As a woman, I am well aware of my second class citizenry people want to impose on me. They think women are servants to serve their every whim, and should even accept being raped. Now, I digress. Crying is seen as a women’s expression, and the second class citizenry placed on women is why I feel crying is seen as unacceptable to many people.
But what about the health benefits of a good cry? Crying is literally a release of emotions that is akin to laughter. People cry out of overwhelm, whether it be joy or pain. Crying is healthy. People often do not allow themselves to cry, leading to other coping behaviors. I myself was often not allowed to cry, and therefore went to eating. Another coping behavior I heard about was self-harm. This once affected a very close friend of mine. I wish I had it together enough at the time to ask them why they could not cry. I think that was part of the problem. And do I need to mention smoking, drinking and holding stress in, leading to heart attacks? Tears need to be restored to the side of healthy, virtuous expression and coping.
So my question to those it applies to is this: Are you strong enough to cry?
Just relaxing at home, basically. I only went out to walk the dog. Also, I am almost ready for which color to make that blanket I mentioned. I am wondering what the secret is for not breaking down among this quarantine.
There is a confession: I have already broken down several times, being isolated from my family. Yes, the blog has records of it. No, I will not link to them tonight. Anyway, it’s tough being an afterthought.
Anyway, moving on. Just wearing my masks, with an improvement…and thinking about putting a wire bread tie in them to stop them from fogging my glasses.
I try not to be arrogant. The reason I’m talking about tips on staying home is that my mother and I have done this staying home thing for years. I’m on disability; she is on Social Security. It’s not like we’re robbing banks and throwing money out the window; we stay home during the end of the month. I only wanted to help, and offer a preview of what we as a collective people in quarantine may be dealing with. That’s why I mentioned the weird sleep schedules I have been plagued with for years. Of course, it’s not easy when your mother is the only person you speak with on a regular basis. It often gets lonely when people do not call. (Of course you know this; a regular reader has read my whining about nobody calling for months.) Now, in recent weeks, I have developed a hard shell around my heart concerning my relatives; it would be nice for them to call, but if they don’t, they should not expect me to. I don’t have half their numbers. They never gave them to me. Survival of callousness must be achieved somehow.
I have an upcoming task at hand to keep me busy for a month or two. I will be crocheting a blanket for my new niece/nephew coming into the world. They will be adorable! That ought to help things. Anyway, how is your quarantine going? I would like to hear from you.
I shaved my legs last night. That’s right. With a razor. No, I am not going to meet anyone right now. (With a global pandemic out there?!) Anyway, why am I telling you this? I just noticed that there was one extremely important factor missing in my diatribes about how to not go stir crazy: the importance of keeping up your cleanliness and care routines.
It’s not important that you put on makeup, unless it’s necessary for you. If it is, more power to you. What I am talking about is regular bathing and skincare.
The reason I am talking about this right now is that I learned this lesson the hard way: if I personally don’t keep my cleanliness and skincare routines up, my acne acts up! Do I have to explain why I don’t like zits on my face?
It’s not out of some perceived notion of arrogance; I have been fairly isolated taking care of my mother for more than ten years. For more on what it’s like for her, please check out The Incredible Shrunk World of the Disabled Person. Without a job, or some semblance of routine, you have to make your own. Showering and care routines will help that. And you’ll like yourself better if you keep clean and good-smelling.
CONTENT WARNING: This is basically a rant.
Unfortunately, my mother and I had to go to the grocery store because we had run out of certain essentials. What I noticed at the store (and ONLY at the store, mind you) troubled me greatly.
It was impossible to practice social distancing there. Everybody invaded my six-foot perimeter with reckless abandon. Even as I was coughing. (I have allergies right now. I have had them for months.)
But the trend was not just with me, because my mother and I normally don’t have the spoons or money to go out much, anyway. It was among the other people, too. They were hugging, talking very close to each other, patting each other on the back, almost as if there was no coronavirus to speak of.
I wonder how much that will change when the first covid-19 test comes back positive?
Maybe that’s the problem. Covid-19 has not infected anybody “yet” in the county. (“Yet” is in quotes due to the nature of covid-19.) Maybe that’s the problem. People have been tested here, but no positive cases…”yet.”
Why aren’t people taking this issue seriously? It’s real. Covid-19 has infected a bunch of people in the next county over! Of course, it’s Lexington, the second largest city in Kentucky, so cities would probably see a spike in cases first, but that’s beside the point. We are a suburb of Lexington, and coronavirus is coming. Like a slow-moving army out to defeat you, it’s coming.
Please, be a little more standoffish right now, guys. My mother and I are dependent on this. We are both vulnerable people.