Age Appropriateness and the Hulk

Remember the controversy surrounding “Turning Red” a few months ago? Well, I’m going to add my two cents in. I believe that it all lies in misunderstanding.

What kind of misunderstanding? Why, the age group that “Turning Red” is aimed at. Most people in the United States think that Disney animation is solely aimed at little children. I have several movies, “Turning Red” included, that are aimed at the 11-14 age range. I can prove it, too. The protagonist in “Turning Red” is thirteen years old. I once heard that when you write for a group of children, you put your protagonist near the upper end of your target age group. And what age group is 13 near the upper end of? 11-14! So, in the tradition of “A Goofy Movie,” “An Extremely Goofy Movie” and others, “Turning Red” is aimed at tweens.

What do tweens deal with, especially girls? The onset of puberty! So, here comes the (hopefully less now) controversial subject matter. The onset of puberty, for those with uteruses, involves “the red curse.” Anyway, I think you know I’m referring to a woman’s period. “Turning Red” deals with this in a very progressive, modern way. It brings a very helpful, eager mother who brings a huge bunch of aids meant for this purpose, including pads and pain reliever. Remember, this is a movie aimed at tweens, NOT LITTLE KIDS. Oh, and lest we forget, for this girl, the onset of puberty also brings the power of turning the girl into a human-sized, and therefore giant, red panda at emotional distress. Gee, physically changing from emotional distress. Who have we seen that from before?

Oh, hello, Dr. Banner. We were just about to mention you.

I forgot to mention another controversy about “Turning Red:” the fact that a 13-year-old girl writes fan fiction about her favorite boy band member. I’m going to make a confession: I have written fanfic about dating Jordan Knight. If you Google him, you’ll understand. Yes, I know that ages me. No, I don’t make him date anyone else in my fanfic. (I was only kissing ready. I was 11-14, remember?) This is actually a non-issue if you’re a member of the target audience. Thanks to Millennials, fan fiction has been brought into the mainstream, so give it a rest.

Anyway, does your inner Hulk come out in times of distress?

Playing Catch Up and Standing on a Soapbox

So, guess who forgot about this little blog? That’s right, this gal. I’ve been quite busy lately, with decorating and helping a relative of mine get through life. (My mother and I both do this, by the way.) Well, I won’t bore you with the details of this relative (mostly because I don’t usually gab without their permission), so here’s how I’ve been coping with pandemic life lately. It’s been hard.

You know how I sometimes – okay frequently – whine about relatives who never call, especially now during the pandemic? I’ve decided to cut them out of my circle of consideration. They better pray I don’t come into any money, though; you didn’t call during the pandemic, or when I was poor; don’t come calling when I’m rich. At least a late great aunt of mine was willing to come by every now and then when she lived. I mean, don’t you have time to call during a lockdown, when you’re bored?

Let’s reset, and give a good shout out to wearing a mask. I know that many of you struggle with this face mask thing, for various reasons. For those with sensory issues, I recommend several solutions:

1. A Paper Mask Stash: These are good when the fabric mask caves in on your face and gives you a hard time. I ordered a stack from China, before they were widely available; they’ve been serving me well ever since.
2. A Mask Bracket: These silicone things are there to provide breathing room for your face. I haven’t had one yet, but I do suggest them as a solution.
3. Foam Washables: Also a sensory suggestion; these are stiff and also have less chance of caving in on your face.

The next set of issues is political. Far be it from me to stand on a soapbox, but why is guarding your health a political statement? What is so wrong about wearing a shield from a potential killer? If a serial killer were doing his dirty work at night in your neighborhood, would it not be wise to stay indoors at that time? And what about flu shots – are those a political statement? Also, if you had to wear a little device so something would not kill you, why not do it? I have a friend who can barely breathe right now because of COVID-19. He’s having such a hard time that I am genuinely worried. My brother also had COVID-19, but he was a “mild” case. (That’s what he told me.) The point is this: is it fear, or is it a healthy respect to recognize something that can kill you?

Okay, now that I’m off my soapbox, let’s regroup. Who’s with me on the need for some real entertainment? Well, it’s going to be hard to make new shows, and we’re all getting tired of reruns, so…maybe order and read a book or two? I’m going to try and find my niche by reading from various different genres. I’ll keep you posted.

Also, I am already getting Christmas decorations up. If you want to see, I have already posted the First Ornament on Instagram. It’s a candy cane tree. Very meta, but also cute.

Divide and Conquer My Mind: Confessions of a Media Molded Sheep-Person

TRIGGER WARNING: Racism, Slavery, Prejudice

When I was younger, my father would often say that black people were “blaming [him], but [he] didn’t do anything.” I don’t believe it was a blame as much as it is a resentment, a resentment of the white male privilege that he enjoyed but was unable to understand. There is no evidence my mother understands the white privilege she and I have. I’m not sure I understand the resentment myself.

For example, I have an upstairs neighbor and friend who is black. Don’t get me wrong; she is kind, cares for her grandkids on the weekends, and often includes us in on her generosity. But just because she is black, every time she has called the police about something, she has been threatened with arrest. She has told us this many times. Well, let’s compare that with my own experience. We have NEVER been threatened with arrest, not even when my mother was prescribed Ambien and suffering from sleepwalking for this. Anyway, these are personal examples in my own life; what about you, other white people? Can you identify differences in life among you and other black people?

I know my parents tried to promote equality among us children. They would say “everybody is equal,” but how were we supposed to achieve that? How are we supposed to achieve that when we are taught only white people are kind and good, black people are aggressive savage beasts best corralled by a form of slavery, Hispanics are hysterical crazies best out of the country, Asians are brilliant enemies….see where I’m going with all this? Much of these stereotypes and concepts are fed through the tubes and lines of the internet, television and the like. I know there are exceptions, though, however rare. I will never not watch “The Neighborhood,” for example. It’s about a pair of families, one black, one white, confronting the prejudices they face every day. But it is still woefully an exception.

This is a very hard post to write for me. It includes confessions of things that I never wanted to admit of myself, because I never thought of this before.

I admit it; I am racist. But I don’t want to be.

I am racist because that is what American society wanted me to be. With the constant pummeling of my brain with the stereotypes and statements made by the media by privileged white males who want to keep a godlike power over other people.

Let’s get serious for a moment: you have been trained to think certain things about yourself in order to cough up money for the things the companies want you to buy. It was all about divide and conquer.

Perhaps the proponents of slavery felt that owning people made them feel like gods. Perhaps they were unable to earn their money and keep their power any other way – or were unwilling to consider it. Whatever it is, slavery and racism, the twin sins of American culture, have remained unchecked to run and now ruin our experiment known as American Democracy. And now I am pledging to fight them.

Social Distancing and Your Own Company

Now, I must confess: my mother and I broke our own creed to stay home today. We went to the grocery store to grab a few items to last us a couple weeks. We really did not need too much, just a couple cans of soup, a loaf of bread, and some mashed potato mix. (Unfortunately, there were no potatoes; good thing we had some from the beginning of the month for Tuesday.) There were a bunch of emptied shelves of things like cleaning products and toilet paper (so what else is new?), but we ourselves felt no need to panic. After all, we have plenty of food here at home. I think my mom had a Filet o Fish craving. That’s why we went out. So we got our Filet o Fish lunch – through the drive thru like everyone else – and came home to eat and hopefully self social distance properly. 

About social distancing: you can’t do social distancing properly if you don’t enjoy your own company. I think I have an advantage in this instance. Being autistic, I learned to enjoy my own company realt fast, because it seemed no one else did. I still marvel at the fact that people are my Facebook friends, by their own choice – that’s how lonely I was through childhood. I have another advantage to talk about. In case you did not know, I was born in 1977. I am a member of Generation X. Most of us were latchkey kids, who also learned to enjoy their own company. Another advantage of Generation X? We are the ones sandwiched between the young and the old, caring for both. I, for example, have a physically disabled mother. She uses a walker and leans on furniture in the house, and uses a cart out of the house. We are not going anywhere anytime soon. We are hunkering down (I hope), and I enjoy my own company. In my case, I had no choice. 

I have a few tips concerning your own company:  

1 –  Schedule Some Moving Around. This is easy for me, because I have a weekly schedule of household chores to do. As I said before, my mother is disabled, so I am alone in doing these. I might even do early spring cleaning and organizing if I get too bored. You’re going to get restless anyway, so why not plan for it? 

2 – Get a Hobby. Example: I crochet, and have offered a blanket to a new baby coming into the world. All I need to know is what color yarn to go get (or get delivered), and I will start – hopefully soon. 

3 – Entertainment. Find some music to play, or get some background noise to put on. Find some radio or make some playlists. I have recently  reacquainted myself with Van Halen (all forms of the band), and am hopefully going to expand my band repertoire, because I’m sure most metal music scares my mother. (Van Halen doesn’t, I hope.) Of course, let’s not forget all those DVR recorded shows you can catch up or binge on. I have a few on retainer. If those bore you, take a cue from the Waltons and gather around the TV or radio and chill.  

4 – Meditation and Spiritual Things. Obviously, when you are denied something, it creates stress. Spirituality and religion are actually helpful in this case. Solace and meditation are a part of the spiritual diet. Judaism and Christianity are no exception. (You can meditate on the things of God, for example if you follow either of those faiths.) I am going no further in mentioning faiths, but all of them have this in common. 

5 – Just Chill Out. This may be the California in me talking, but in case you haven’t noticed, the world has no chill. Our lives have been way too busy and drama filled lately. Maybe we all need this mandatory staycation to just chill out and embrace the simple things in life, like rest. And chilling out. Maybe you need to be bored for a little while in order to appreciate the spice in life.  

6 – Face Time / Skype. There is such a thing as video chat. In case you haven’t noticed, the original Blade Runner movie takes place last year. They had video chat in there. If you’re feeling extra lonely and need human contact, just use it. 

7 – Humor. I have recently changed my phone alert sound to Babu Frik saying “Hey Heyyyyy!” for laughs. Sometimes it’s annoying, but more often than not, it gives me a little laugh when I need it. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. I knew a stranger would be my kind of person when I saw, in the parking lot at one of my grocery stores, a Volkswagen New Beetle with what looks like a giant toy key on top. I also somehow got close enough to see that it had a dinosaur eating a stick figure family. My point is, humor is there to help in tough times. Get that funny picture as your desktop background. Go visit the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards site. (Better than Facebook, I say.) Pass those silly jokes around on Twitter. Just a hint: Make sure it’s at the expense of someone who EARNS their expense. Not things they can’t control, like skin color.

Maybe I’m imitating Ace Ventura in my talking here, but some of these things need to be said. You may even learn to enjoy your own company at this time.  

A Bit on Ali Stroker

Well, Ali Stroker won a Tony Award for her work in an Oklahoma! Revival. I am glad she won! That girl can sing and act! I am glad you can finally have limitations and have a representative.  

“Representation matters,” is a line Craig Melvin tends to use about the whole thing. He’s right. There is even video proving this online. In the video, a little boy, himself using a wheelchair, said, “That’s me!” He even got to meet her on the Today Show. I am so glad this is happening.  

There are a few small minuses to address. One of them is the line, “She’s an inspiration!” Basically, this says, “She is strong for living with such a tragedy.” You know what it says to me, a disabled woman? It says you underestimate human persistence.  That’s not cool.  Also, there is this nagging question: did she win because of her talent and work, or did she win because she was in a wheelchair? Hopefully, she won because of her talent and work. I would like to think that, especially since this question tends to nag me every single time someone less privileged in this society wins. (Did America Ferrera win her Emmy because she was talented, or because she was Ugly Betty? Did Ashley Graham win the Sports Illustrated cover because she was beautiful, or because it was lip service to body positivity? Did John Legend EGOT because of his work, or because of his race?) See how it works? I hope it’s because of their talents and work, in all cases I mentioned.

Anyway, I am so excited! Ali Stroker won!

Captain Marvel: Chicken Soup for my 90s Feminist Soul

Now, I know autism and/or vaccine news has been bleak lately, with anti-vaxxers and disease outbreaks, plus Autism Awareness Month coming up… I felt so much like a monster, I needed to get away from it for a while. So, I went to the movies.  

For those who do not know, I am 41 (until July 17). This puts me squarely in Generation X. So, any movies with music from the 90s has got to have good grunge in it. And boy, did Captain Marvel deliver. Good, female-led 90s music was aplenty. From Garbage’s “Only Happy When It Rains” to “Just a Girl” by No Doubt, we rock it alongside Nirvana.  

That, however, is not the only reason I will cheer for Miss Fire Hands. She’s ridiculously powerful, and alter herself to fit the facts. (That’s all I will say; no one likes a spoiler.) Plus, she is the adoptive mother to Goose. (Did you think I’d leave Goose out of it? You don’t know me very well.)  

Goose is revealed to be a Flerken, a highly dangerous creature that resembles an orange tabby housecat. I won’t get too much into what a Flerken is; it’s hard to explain. (SPOILER ALERT: tentacles are involved.) Sure, she’s cute, but she’s also powerful. I think it’s funny that Goose is played by orange tabby cats most of the time; most orange tabbies are male. Also, for some more information about Flerkens, look up Chewie in the Marvel Wikipedia, as well; that is the character’s original name.  

I’ve also noticed there were a lot of haters for Captain Marvel; I suspect they adhere to toxic masculinity. That’s all I will say about that. In a world where Wonder Woman only got a movie two years ago, and Black Panther got his last year, that is to be expected. I’ll just throw their hate into a specialized cylindrical file called a trash can. 

In a world where autistics and women are told they are monsters, it is refreshing to see that hope and help can come from the most unexpected places.  

Race and Music

Something that grinds my gears is the notion that race decides your musical tastes. Some people have it in their heads that if you’re black you must listen to this music and if you’re white, you must listen to that music. If you ask me, that notion is ridiculous. There are race-crossing musicians appearing all the time. Eminem, Darius Rucker, In Living Color, Killswitch Engage’s lead singer, Sevendust’s lead singer, the list goes on and on. Maybe my opinion is more popular than I think, but I am stating that when a person likes a certain genre of music, they ought to be given free rein to explore and develop their talent to fit said genre. I grew up in the 1990s. I liked En Vogue and TLC as much as I liked Nirvana. “Free Your Mind” helped me challenge my views of many different types of people. Even back then, I got the feeling that this notion of race deciding musical taste was creeping into society. As I said before, just ridiculous.