Lumped in With a Mass Murderer

About the Parkland, Florida shooter being autistic: There are now people or gangs of people who will come up to me and ask me what it’s like to be a potential mass murderer, all because I am autistic. It has happened before, and due to human nature to condemn needlessly, it will happen again. How does that feel, they ask? It feels awful. I feel blamed for something I never intend to do. My family grew up hating guns. Sure, they won’t stop a person from defending themselves with a handgun, they see that. But to violate and invalidate my rights while people are potentially out to get me is wrong.  

I feel that because the Florida shooter was autistic, and I am autistic too, people are now out to get me. That is textbook paranoia. I am now feeling paranoid. 

Are you happy now?  


Maybe I was Not Clear Enough

Maybe I was not clear enough. If the only way to stop shootings is arm everybody with a gun, then everybody has a gun pointed at their head by somebody.

Everybody has an enemy. Do we now point guns at their heads?

And remember, if everybody has a gun pointed at their head, then….


Random Thoughts About “The Good Doctors,” a Story on 20/20

Just a few notes while watching “The Good Doctors” on ABC’s 20/20. I thought my perspective was needed in the conversation.

-I’m watching a special about doctors with disabilities. I’m watching to see how they are treated. Will they be sad sacks, inspiration porn, or real people? So far, it seems to be the third.  

-I want people with disabilities to be treated as real people. Trouble is, people cannot see past the ends of their noses to see that the disabled are real people.  

-They’re talking about “The Good Doctor” and his mind palace, if you will.  

-My mother consults me on matters of autistic processing and information handling.  

-I wonder: who is Freddie Highmore consulting on autistic portrayal?  

-He’s convinced there is a Shaun Murphy out in the world somewhere, with his particular levels of social and informational processing.  

-Now they’re talking about the improvisational side of “The Good Doctor.” They’re bringing in the doctors on the slopes of Mt. Everest.  

-They’re showing the improvisation of keeping IV fluids warm using body heat. Also, they take the patient down by local Sherpas to get him to a helicopter. (The air is too thin on Everest to support aircraft.) 

-Now they are exploring the role of tragedy in the show.  

-An investment banker’s sister loses her leg in a subway accident. She kept her knee, though. The banker became a doctor as a result.  

-Overall, a good show. No real inspiration porn, no objects of pity, no tragedies.  

Ableism in Action: “To Siri With Love”

WARNING: Mentions of medical abuse, ableism, and prejudice


I was certain I had nothing to say about a book I never read. The book “To Siri with Love” seems to me biased and anti-autistic, with some thoughts about forced sterilization and not being able to picture having sex without the Benny Hill soundtrack in the mother’s head, for example.

Well, here’s a few statements I jotted down in my journal. Take a look, judge if you must:


Just wondering: how much ableism is “To Siri With Love”? A whole bathtub of ableism, as I have heard. My mother recently told me not to read negative things about autism; trouble is, “To Siri With Love” is one of those things. Saying your son can’t have sex in your head without the Benny Hill soundtrack, that’s ableism. Saying you want to sterilize him by force, that’s ableism. Saying no woman will want him, that’s ableism.

I haven’t talked about it before, because I haven’t read the book. I don’t think I’ll be able to in the near future, unless I rent it electronically. I have a strange feeling that I will be triggered like I used to be in the days of living with my sisters.

I tried to get the book “To Siri With Love” through the library. It was not there. I hear you can only buy it through Amazon. And you can only review it if you can buy it through Amazon. I wanted to come to the book with an open mind, but its mind is so closed that I feel I have to protect myself from Judith Newman.


Unfortunately, I have not read the book, as I have stated before, but it seems the book was not written for me, as Judith Newman actually states. See, I am autistic. I am also a woman who wants to work with autistic people. So, Judith Newman says this book is written for me. Which one is it, Judith? Am I good enough for you or not?

Forgive me, it is a bit rambling, but I am certain the hatred toward people like me will increase based upon “To Siri With Love.”


Here’s the lowdown: I wanted to approach “To Siri with Love” with an open mind, but the author has approached autistic people, including me, with a closed mind. And how am I supposed to respond to that?

About Shaun Murphy’s Flat Voice

NOTE: This is about the TV Series “The Good Doctor.”  

Now, I’ve heard a lot of criticism about Shaun Murphy’s flat voice. It normally does not affect me personally, but I know it seems like a stereotype. So many things can seem like a stereotype, but if a person matches one or two particular stereotypes, it could be terrible, but it can be mitigated by the presence of somebody who does not fit the stereotypes. As “The Good Doctor” makers are just getting the show off the ground, they have not learned that yet.   

I decided to formulate theories as to why Dr. Murphy’s voice is flat. Here are a few theories:  

  1. It is due to the lack of training in Shaun Murphy’s past. I have yet to see a vocal training session or learning as to the man’s voice in the show, so this theory may be disproven in time. But have autistic people been given speech therapy to address that, at least?  
  1. Trauma has affected Shaun Murphy, so he regressed in vocal progress. The storyline shows major traumatic episodes in Dr. Murphy’s past, and more could be coming. People facing trauma often regress in behavior. I have often done this myself, when aware and when not, for comfort. 
  1. Shaun has not quite learned or gotten how to speak neurotypically yet. Now this seems to be the most plausible. Has Shaun been given classes or therapy on how to speak normally? Better yet, can he possibly learn to speak neurotypically in the future? A little background on this theory: I myself have been told I did not learn how to speak like neurotypical people until I was about thirty. I learned in eventually speaking in a group therapy setting, mimicking my peers. My mother had to point it out to me, by the way. According to her, “A light went on.” Often, that’s what happens with me. I’m not saying Dr. Murphy is exactly like me, I’m just saying the vocal change could play out like that.  

It is of huge consequence how autistic people are portrayed in the media. Raymond “Rain Man” Babbit has dominated the conversation for decades, especially since people continue to put their fingers in their ears and try to block out what autistic people are saying. Yeah, neurodiversity relations are that bad, but I’m not surprised by that.